August 23, 2012 by Vicki
Have you ever just wanted to Rage? Everyone is always telling you how to live your life, how to behave, and how you should organize your passions. When they’re not telling you how to be; they’re telling you that what you want and need is impossible. You can’t wear that, cut your hair, start a business, and what WILL people say? With the best intentions in the world, friends and family do their utmost to cut you down to size. What if you don’t fit their cookie cutters? Well then, they cut off pieces of you and throw them away. Not looking at what they throw away. The heart and soul that they dismiss as unimportant may very well be your center.
Why is it whenever a person wants to do something new, most people react with horror? Why can’t we reach for the stars? I’m tired of living my life the way everyone wants me to. I’m tired of asking people how I should do the things that I want to do. I’m going to do things My Way or at least, die trying. A friend once said to me “When I die, I’d rather say “I shouldn’t have done that” then “I wish I had done that.”” I don’t want to say “I wish I had done that” and at this point, I think I will.
I look at the women in my life. Most of them find themselves dissatisfied with their lives. Most of them have lived their lives according to the expectations of others. Some have even taken on the thwarted passions of their parents. All of them have had requirements drilled into their heads about what has to be included in their lives. None of them find happiness in fulfilling these requirements. So why are they requirements? According to whom? Instead of throwing ourselves away; let’s throw away these requirements that only serve to make us unhappy.
Ok, Vicki, you say, that’s all very well and good but could you give us concrete examples? Yes, yes I can. The requirement of having the perfect body. The requirement of having a significant other of the opposite sex. The requirement of having children. The requirement of having a certain degree because you’re family wants you to have it. All of these are requirements that I urge you to throw away. Now, as always, if you are truly happy in your pursuit of the above requirements then this doesn’t apply to you. If you have found your soul-mate then by all means enjoy them. But none of the above achievements are truly required of a happy life. A “perfect body” is a body that you feel comfortable in and that does what you want it to do. Having children is every woman’s choice and it should bring joy and wonder. If it doesn’t then it is not worth it. Not to you and most definitely, not to your child. Shakespeare said it best “To your own self be true.” I believe we need to apply that to everything we do from our homes to our jobs to our lives.