My Confessions


December 4, 2012 by Vicki

My Action Plan has been in force for approximately a month. It’s time to face the Piper and honestly access whether or not I have met my Plans and Resolutions. I find my Plans and Goals tend to overlap so I will focus on my Plans.

Plan 1: Walk the Lollipop (or up the stairs) twice daily with Lucy

struggling        I struggle with this requirement. Lucy is lucky if I walk her around the block twice daily never mind around the Lollipop or up the stairs. The worst thing is that it’s hurting me. I’m finding that I am losing less weight and generally feeling worse about myself. I stopped during the week where it never stopped raining (thank you hurricane) but there was no reason that I could not climb the stairs instead. I think I need to bring this down to once daily until I have built up the necessary energy to make it twice daily. I am concerned that twice daily will become impossible once I start working.

Plan 2: Eat a Healthy Diet

Success          I have lived up to this requirement. Currently, I have lost twenty pounds in two months. I went from being 270 lbs to 250lbs.  I have changed a lot of my eating habits although I still need more work. I find that it is a learning experience.  I accidentally gave myself too much fibre in my diet and ended up getting fairly sick so I slid back into some bad habits that I need to break. My biggest concerns right now are breaking the pasta habit and cutting down portion size.

Plan 3: Keep a Food Diary

struggling        I struggle with this requirement. I kept a Food Diary until November 3 and then I fell out of the habit. Now that Mike is also counting calories and carbs, it should be easier to keep track.

Plan 4: Research Wicca

Success        I have been successful on this requirement. I am currently focusing on Gaian Wicca which I find most closely matches my own interests. I now have the Gaian Tarot which I have felt a very close connection with and have studied the guide book intensely.

Plan 5: Research Mythology

Success      I have also been successful on this requirement as I watched and enjoyed Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth documentary. I find, right now, that I am much more interested in Wicca then in mythology and I don’t really have a problem with putting more emphasis on my research of Wicca.

Plan 6: Research Classical Music

Success          I have been listening to a lot of Classical Music lately. I have not studied it as of yet but I am building my own interest and trying to determine if this is my interest of if it is an interest because of Grandpa. If it is because of Grandpa then it’s not me.

Plan 7: Find a Job

struggling         I am struggling with this requirement. I had an interview on Monday November  for a position that I really wanted. From the description of the position, I believe that I would be proud of this job and could enjoy it. Unfortunately, they found a different applicant suited their needs better than I would have.

Plan 8: Write one Hub page a week

Failure 2       I have not been successful at this requirement.

Plan 9: Write Bi-Weekly posts on all three of my blogs

Success      I have been moderately successful. My “Life on the Ark” blog requires some more attention. I have failed to make regular updates to it but am starting to fix this trend.  Otherwise, I have posted bi-weekly on Boudicabooks and Dreammirrors. I have changed the format of Dream Mirrors into a creative writing blog.

Out of  9 plans, I have successfully managed five requirements. I have been moderately successful at two requirements and completely failed at three requirements. I would like to have accomplished all of my plans by January 1, 2012. Finding a job is not something that I have complete control over but I can still give it my best effort.

Now let’s talk about my Resolutions.

Resolution 1: Be Vicki

Success          Overall, I believe that I have lived up to this resolution so far. I have had occasional slip ups where I fell into a depression but I was able to fight my way back out again. Most of the accomplished plans fell into the category of being Vicki. I have changed my eating habits to reflect my personal tastes (i.e. I hate handling raw meat so now I use tofu.) I am changing my Dream Mirrors blog to more accurately reflect who I am.

Resolution 2: Be Happy

Failure 2      I have not lived up to this resolution. To be fair, I have had the shit kicked out of me this past month and a half. Mike and I were reassessed and told that we owed the government over $2500 between the two of us. At that point, we were already drowning in debt. I am also struggling with some familial disputes on various levels. So, all in all, I have had a hard time with this particular resolution.

Resolution 3: Just Get Up and Dance

Success        I have lived up to this resolution. I use music and dance to keep my mood up and to keep me active. I have started listening to a lot more music again. I am rediscovering the joys of music and it is wonderful.

Resolution 4: Let Go of the Past

struggling        I am struggling with this resolution. I have not lived up to it yet but I do keep trying. I miss the way things used to be. I miss my Grandpa. It’s hard to let that go but I am trying.

Resolution 5: Be Honest (even when it hurts)

Success        I have lived up to this resolution. I tell others how I really feel about situations. Sometimes, I tell myself and Mike because other people do not want me to tell the people involved. My prerequisite for this is that it directly involves the person who is requesting my silence.

Resolution 6: Make my own Decisions

struggling        I struggle with this resolution. I try to make my own decisions but if it is really important, I always want a second opinion. It is a battle each time, but I do fight the battle. I don’t always win but I get points for trying right?

Resolution 7: Find and Pursue My Interests

Success      I have lived up to this resolution. I am currently interested in Wicca, creative writing, and healthy eating and spend a considerable amount of time pursuing these interests.

Resolution 8: Cultivate Family and Friends

struggling       I am struggling with this resolution. I have reconnected with Amanda and am greatly enjoying having my little sister back. I have also recently reconnected with an old friend who I never thought to hear from again. However, I am struggling to reconnect with family members who appear to be uninterested. Recently, I have made some more progress but it is very slow going. Some members of my family and I just don’t seem to know how to talk to each other anymore.

Resolution 9: Don’t Take Shit from Anybody

struggling       I am struggling with this resolution. I have difficulty determining what shit is and what are normal life occurrences. I don’t take shit when I know it’s shit. I just have difficulty determining what shit is. Is this a common problem?

Resolution 10: Don’t Drift

Success               I have lived up to this resolution. I do not spend hours daydreaming anymore. I have tried to live in the here and now. I am actively seeking employment. I still dream but I recognize that they are just dreams and not reality. I don’t expect to be totally happy all of the time at any point in my life. Happiness and Life just don’t work that way. I don’t think I would like it if it did.

Resolution 11: Be More Creative

Success      I have lived up to this resolution. I have reincarnated Dream Mirrors to reflect a more creative outlook. I have also engaged with other types of creativity such as listening to my music. I would like to expand my creativity further to include knitting, colouring and possibly singing.

Resolution 12: Cut all activities that I do not enjoy

Success              I have lived up to this resolution. I have cut out an assortment of activities that I used to pretend to enjoy so that I fit into a group. I no longer pretend and find that I actually have better relations with the group I was trying to belong to.

Out of twelve Resolutions, I have successfully lived up to seven of them. I am struggling with four resolutions and have not been able to accomplish one of my resolutions. I am surprised by these numbers. I thought I was doing a lot worse than I currently am. Considering I have until January 1, 2013 to accomplish my resolutions, I think I am on the right track again. I just have to stick to this. I also have to accept that some of my resolution I will not be completely successful with due to the actions of other people.


What do you struggle to accomplish in your life? Who or what stops you from being successful? What’s your Action Plan?

10 thoughts on “My Confessions

  1. Kate says:

    It takes a great deal of strenth of character to be able to outline, resolutions, goals and plans and even more so to accomplish them. It also takes courage to state the truth about your successes and failures. It is not a hero for whom it comes easy, it is a hero who has to fight every step of the way.

  2. 최다해 gongjumonica says:

    This is a nice thing to be made even before New Year starts and many people promising their New Year’s resolution. I love classical music, too and would like to listen to more artists. I congratulate you for regulating your diet and losing weight! Before, I was not that conscious about my weight but when I passed the 40kg mark, I feel overweight! 😦

    Good luck in your plans and I hope you will achieve them. It is difficult to maintain a blog, but having three makes it more challenging.

  3. I’ve been cutting down on my portion size to. it’s hard! I will be giving up fast food totally at the new year. it’s going to be tough but I KNOW I CAN DO IT!!!! Good luck!

    • Vicki says:

      I have found that my stomach is starting to shrink so it does get easier, I promise. Good Luck with your New Year’s resolution, I know how hard it can be to ignore the temptation of a quick and easy burger and fries.

      • YES I LOVE the FRIES!!! BUT I like living to! so…. Easy choice you know!

      • Vicki says:

        Agreed! Salads can be delicious as well and are much healthier option.

      • YES. I find once you get used to making them it goes very quickly. I just got into some lazy habits. I tend to fall into the I”M TO TIRED trap! WE do try to do it all don’t we. But taking care of my self is the best think I can do for myself! I just have to remember that on the hard days! Oh and have some good back up like YOU! TY

      • Vicki says:

        Glad I could help. We all fall into the “too tired” trap sometimes. I find if I have healthy food easily available it helps to avoid the trap. I will buy the cut up fruits such as apples and fruit salad because I know I won’t take the time to prepare fruit but I will eat it if it is available.

      • Great advice! ON TO PINTEREST for more ideas

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Hi, I'm the blogger behind Boudicabooks. Tour around the site and hop into the discussions. This site discusses life as a woman. The site also hosts a Book Club that investigates the lives of women through novels by women, about women, and for women.
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